What the *#@*^!?!
Posted by sharingburdens on July 20, 2007
Post written by: Anonymous
I have a secret that doesn’t sound like a big deal but I hate it!! When I get upset or really frustrated, I have a “mouth like a trucker”. I swear too much. I don’t do it in regular conversations but when something happens, words just come out. I feel terrible because it is usually directed toward the ones I love the most, especially my kids. I always apologize and tell them I really don’t mean to use those words, but I know it still hurts them. I hate it! I absolutely do not mean what I say. Now my teenager has started doing it to me. I know he really doesn’t mean it, but it hurts.
I am a good mom. I love my kids and I do everything with my kids. They are the most important people to me and I would lay down my life for them. They know that I would. We have great talks, we love being together, and we thoroughly enjoy each other. So why do I have to curse? The words blurt out before I can stop them. What can I do? Am I the only mother who does this? Any ideas how I can stop?
Melissa said
Ha-ha. No, you are DEFINITELY not the only person who does this… I think that most of us say things we don’t want or mean to when we get angry.
Maybe you can use the fact that your teen is starting to curse at you when angry as a motivation to change? I know it sounds hokey, but what if, the next time you’re angry, you try counting before you say anything? You could put your hand behind your back and slowly count off five fingers before saying anything. It’ll give you 15 seconds or so to pause and collect your thoughts, and might help to prevent you from saying something you don’t want to. Oh, and pray…definitely pray.
DM said
Dear fellow potty mouth,
Been there, done that, still do it occassionally myself…here’s a suggestion….since both of you (you and your teen) are dealing w/ the same issue, and since you as the parent are such a powerful role model..both for good and not so good..I would look at this new issue as an awesome opportunity to role model humility…share your heart w/ them…you know first hand how it makes you feel when they talk like that toward you…plus you are not feeling good about not only talking to them like that occassionally, plus they’ve picked up your sin pattern…ask them if they would work on it w/you..both of you pray for each other… that God would enable the other to stop…find a verse that talks about the tongue..(or any verse pertaining to speech)..and memorize it together…this whole thing could become something that draws you closer instead of just a destructive thing.
linda said
lame
Joni said
You are definitely not alone. My problem used to be uncontrolled rage. I would weep that I couldn’t control myself and finally sought help because my words were heading toward turning physical. I found I had some hurts that wove themselves into my personality over time and every time someone would push that button, so to speak, it was like punching a bruise and all this rage came out. That helped a little just realizing I was putting this anger over on my kids because I had nowhere else to go with it. I’ve made a lot of progress but still make mistakes now and then. And I hear my kids repeat it. Like DM says, its good to humble yourself and let your kids know that language is unkind and inappropriate and that sometimes Mom makes mistakes too. I find that my kids respond better to that than to me just telling them what not to do. And I don’t often hear them repeat it. Good luck!
Be encouraged, if this is the worst thing going on, you’re doing ok. But un-addressed it could lead to worse things. Good for you for taking a second look at it!
Enola said
I have a bad potty mouth too. Just this morning my daughter said “poopy butt” and I told her that was not appropriate. She asked why I say bad words and Daddy too. She’s just 3. I told her that I was wrong and that when we do bad things, we need to say sorry and pray about it. Easier said than done though, especially in the moment.
How about a swearing jar? Every time someone in your family swears, they have to put money in the jar (quarter, dollar, whatever). The person with the least money in their jar after a set time wins all the money. Or something similar like that.
What really reformed me was a college professor who took me aside one day. He told me that all feminism principles aside, women who swore were not seen as “one of the guys” or respected. That I would receive much more respect as a professional if I expanded my vocabulary beyond 4 letter words. I can’t say that I don’t ever swear, but it really has helped.