Experiencing the journey…

I want to thank all of you who have written, commented on, or read this blog. I started it as an outlet for anyone to express the things they were struggling with in a safe and supportive atmosphere. I have “met” many of you through this blog and it is wonderful! I also know that some have said how this site has helped. That is awesome!!

The last post was in December. I have been working as part of the leadership of a new church and will soon be moving from western NY to the Cincinnati area to help start the church. Over the past 10 months, we’ve been working on systems, developing programs, working on budget stuff, etc and I’ve been traveling, learning, studying and doing all I can!! What’s awesome is as I move into full time ministry, I get to spend the rest of my life helping people who are where I once was get to where I am now! No more shame, no embarrassment, and no more hiding anything.

Today I can stand free from all the coping skills that I had learned, free from suicidal thoughts, free from struggling to make it through each and every day, all while acting like I had it all together. Instead, I can be honest, open, and transparent, willing to talk about it all and reach out to anyone who is going through anything I’ve been through.

I’ve been through tons of abuse, both growing up and in my marriage, rejection, depression, anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks and you name it. My coping skills included alcohol, drugs (illegal when younger, prescription as older), self-injury, eating disorders, suicidal “stuff”, and probably a handful more! Today I am healed. Today I no longer have to rely on my own strength. Today I want others to experience what I am now living. It’s awesome!

So I thank you for participating on this blog. I invite you, if you haven’t already, check out and join in at my blog at rindywalton.com. Jump in and comment and you can make it easy by subscribing by email to follow the journey. See ya over there!!

Is unhappiness a “good enough” reason for divorce?

 Post written by: Anonymous

Christians aren’t “supposed” to get divorced.  Except in rare cases, like adultery.  At least that is what I have been taught.  It is what I believed when I got married.  I have seen the statistics that children are better in divorced, happy homes than in homes where parents stay together just for the children.  I’ve known couples that stay together and maintain a friendship of sorts.  I’ve known couples that have stayed together miserable just because they thought they were supposed to do that.

My spouse is not abusive, mean, a bad person, an adulterer or any of those other labels.  My spouse refuses to grow up. Wants to be a child. Resents working all day, coming home, cooking dinner, cleaning up, dealing with children and the other such things that come along with being an adult.  My spouse would rather visit their childhood home.  Where meals appear on plates, all cut up and fixed. Where sleeping in is expected and there are no adult responsibilities.  My spouse promises to grow up.  And does better for a little while. Then falls back into the same pattern. Counseling has not helped except to prolong the cycle just a little while.

My spouse is not a bad person – just immature.  Childish.  Never had to grow up.  Doesn’t know how to take responsibility.  Doesn’t want to learn how to take responsibility. Has a “what is in it for me” attitude.  Very selfish.

It’s not a horrible, huge problem in the scheme of things.  But I’m not happy.  At what point does my happiness come into play?  Are Christians supposed to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of staying married?  Is there ever a “good enough” reason to get divorced because you are unhappy?

Christians and sexual temptations

The post Pornography: one woman looks has generated a lot of views and comments. ‘Alone’ wrote that she struggles with sexual temptations as a single woman. The Silent Killer in Our Churches at Monday Morning Insight reveals statistics about struggles with pornography among Christians, both men and women. Comments on this blog have also shifted to questions about masturbation. The purpose of this blog is to provide a safe place for talking about issues that exist but are hidden behind walls and masks. So I’ve done some reading and here’s what I’ve found to get the discussion started:

From The Woman’s Study Bible (NKJV) study notes:

• “some consider it a means of reducing excessive sexual tension when the normal sexual activity of married life is unavailable or as an alternative for promiscuity or fornication”

• “…such self-gratification may originate in lustful fantasies for selfish pleasure”

• “moral and psychological ramification can prove disruptive to a relationship with God as well as others”

Verses in The Bible (NLT):

• 1 Corinthians 6:12 You say “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything

• 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor…Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife…God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.

• 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

• Matthew 5:27-28 You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Pornography, chat rooms, masturbation, fantasizing…are they acceptable? Or are they violating God’s will and plan? Scripture doesn’t explicitly condone or condemn certain specific acts, but can we surmise what is meant?

One more thought: Just because we have certain normal desires, doesn’t mean we must give in to them or satisfy the desires. Temptations exist all around us.

• 1 Corinthians 10:13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand.

What are your thoughts?

This shall pass?

Post written anonymously…

I have been married for almost 18 years, 2 months shy.  This man in front of the crowd is a man of courage, spiritual intellect, and a good husband and father.  But behind the crowd this man deals with a personal demon of self worth issues.  He is an emotional abuser, he is my husband.  One day he is up applauding you and kissing you on the nape of your neck than the next he is sitting at the train tracks threatening to kill himself, because you overspent by $3.00 on the credit card causing an over limit fee. 

I have often wondered about leaving, but I haven’t.  I love this man. God put him into my life for a purpose right?  So he has to get better?  I ’m a leader in the church and I do a lot, what will people think if I cannot handle my husband and home?  These questions have been asked.  What about the old, “this shall to pass”?  Has this man gotten better?  Yes.  10 years ago he drank and he was even worst.  But he found Jesus and every year he gets better.  But the last two years he hit a milestone birthday, lost his job, and everything for him went into the toilet.  And for me? My life soared!!  He got jealous.

 I love this man.

I cannot leave. 

Here’s where I am at today.