Experiencing the journey…

I want to thank all of you who have written, commented on, or read this blog. I started it as an outlet for anyone to express the things they were struggling with in a safe and supportive atmosphere. I have “met” many of you through this blog and it is wonderful! I also know that some have said how this site has helped. That is awesome!!

The last post was in December. I have been working as part of the leadership of a new church and will soon be moving from western NY to the Cincinnati area to help start the church. Over the past 10 months, we’ve been working on systems, developing programs, working on budget stuff, etc and I’ve been traveling, learning, studying and doing all I can!! What’s awesome is as I move into full time ministry, I get to spend the rest of my life helping people who are where I once was get to where I am now! No more shame, no embarrassment, and no more hiding anything.

Today I can stand free from all the coping skills that I had learned, free from suicidal thoughts, free from struggling to make it through each and every day, all while acting like I had it all together. Instead, I can be honest, open, and transparent, willing to talk about it all and reach out to anyone who is going through anything I’ve been through.

I’ve been through tons of abuse, both growing up and in my marriage, rejection, depression, anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks and you name it. My coping skills included alcohol, drugs (illegal when younger, prescription as older), self-injury, eating disorders, suicidal “stuff”, and probably a handful more! Today I am healed. Today I no longer have to rely on my own strength. Today I want others to experience what I am now living. It’s awesome!

So I thank you for participating on this blog. I invite you, if you haven’t already, check out and join in at my blog at rindywalton.com. Jump in and comment and you can make it easy by subscribing by email to follow the journey. See ya over there!!

I need your help!

I need your help! The purpose of this site is this:

 We all struggle with issues that we find embarrassing or shameful. We might feel guilt or remorse, or know humiliation and regret. We all hide these behind masks and walls. This site is a place to be honest and real. It is a site where you can be yourself and share your difficulties. It is a place to gain awareness and insight. It is a safe place to express and discuss and know that you are not alone.

I love to be challenged to find resources, Biblical references, and to encourage discussion on any topic. I need your help deciding what topics! Some of you have written some great stuff, others have commented, and even more have read (and I hope been encouraged or challenged yourself).

What topics would you like to see more information, references, resources, or discussion about? Maybe you don’t want to write something yourself or can’t quite put it into words—I can help get the discussions started.

Some topics discussed so far include: alcoholism, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, mental illness, insecurity, disabilities, self-injury, emotional abuse, domestic violence, pornography, suicide, and more. The list of potential topics is endless.

Comment and let me know!!! Remember it can always be anonymous (even email: anon@anonymous.com or friend@friend.com or any other combo!). I’m looking forward to your responses!!

Christians and sexual temptations

The post Pornography: one woman looks has generated a lot of views and comments. ‘Alone’ wrote that she struggles with sexual temptations as a single woman. The Silent Killer in Our Churches at Monday Morning Insight reveals statistics about struggles with pornography among Christians, both men and women. Comments on this blog have also shifted to questions about masturbation. The purpose of this blog is to provide a safe place for talking about issues that exist but are hidden behind walls and masks. So I’ve done some reading and here’s what I’ve found to get the discussion started:

From The Woman’s Study Bible (NKJV) study notes:

• “some consider it a means of reducing excessive sexual tension when the normal sexual activity of married life is unavailable or as an alternative for promiscuity or fornication”

• “…such self-gratification may originate in lustful fantasies for selfish pleasure”

• “moral and psychological ramification can prove disruptive to a relationship with God as well as others”

Verses in The Bible (NLT):

• 1 Corinthians 6:12 You say “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything

• 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor…Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife…God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.

• 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

• Matthew 5:27-28 You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Pornography, chat rooms, masturbation, fantasizing…are they acceptable? Or are they violating God’s will and plan? Scripture doesn’t explicitly condone or condemn certain specific acts, but can we surmise what is meant?

One more thought: Just because we have certain normal desires, doesn’t mean we must give in to them or satisfy the desires. Temptations exist all around us.

• 1 Corinthians 10:13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand.

What are your thoughts?

Pornography and Christians

This post, written by “Alone” about her struggles with pornography online, has been a very popular site to view this week. Todd Rhoades at Monday Morning Insight, has just written a post titled, The Silent Killer in Our Churches that takes an eye-opening look at pornography and Christians. Thought you might be interested…

Pornography: one woman looks

Post written by: Alone 

I am a single adult female. I wish I could find a man to love me but that has not happened. I am active in church, I love the Lord, I have many friends, but at night I am alone.

I like men. I have desires. I started looking at porn on the internet. It started one night after a date that didn’t go as planned. I liked him, but he didn’t have the same feelings. I got discouraged and lonely. I started imagining what it would be like for a man to want me. At first I looked a little, then I read stories, and I enjoyed it. But I felt a little guilty. A few nights ago I went into a chat room. Here were live men wanting to talk to me. No one would know. I started talking to a few men. It was exciting.

One man was particularly interested and asked if I wanted to cyber. I had an idea of what that meant, but I didn’t know for sure. I had never done this before. Cyber is short for cybersex. Anything goes and soon we were having a very X-rated chat.

I have needs. I have desires. Is that wrong? Part of me is guilty, but part of me enjoyed it. I live alone so it’s not like there is anyone who will ever find out. But this is not what God wants. I am angry at myself for following my urges but I am not sure I won’t do it again.

Am I the only one who has done this? Am I the only Christian who feels this way? How do I stop these feelings? The temptation to go back to the chat room will not go away. What do I do? I have prayed for God to forgive me. I have prayed for God to stop me from doing anything that he does not want me to do. I don’t know what else to do. Is there anyone else who struggles with this or am I the only one?